As any relationship counselor worth her $150 per hour will tell you, communication is a two-way street. Which means Paris will need to send messages to the outside world. And folks outside will have to transmit messages over the wall, so to speak. Here's how it'll work:

First, know that inmates at L.A. County jails are not allowed to bring cell phones and BlackBerries, and have no Internet access. Paris will probably get a private cell; she will definitely not have a private telephone. Inmates have access to telephones during free time, at least an hour a day. She'll need to call you.

If you want to write to Paris in jail, here's where to send your cards and letters:

Keep in mind that jailhouse regulations prohibit what you can send to inmates. Forbidden materials include cash, food, cosmetics, jewelry, rosary beads, lottery tickets, balloons, and stationery, and stamps (go figure).

Also, don't bother sending cards or envelopes with staples, metal clasps, glitter, stickers, music-playing chips, because they'll be confiscated. Basically, anything from Hallmark in the past 40 years.

Postcards under 6 by 9 inches are ideal.
Books and magazines are permitted, but no more than three per week. Also, you can't mail them directly; have them shipped from the bookstore, like Amazon.com. She won't have time for a magazine subscription to kick in. No smutty stuff either.

One possible way to circumvent the no-food rule is to order a care package from Canteen Correctional Services at mycarepack.com. The company -- think of it as a kind of Hickory Farms for the incarcerated -- offers a selection of what it says are pre-approved gift baskets of junk food. For example, $50 will send Paris care pack 2207, which contains the following: coffee, sugar packs, foam cups, hot sauce, ramen, fruit punch mix, pickles, Corn Nuts, pork rinds, corn chips, sweet rolls, cookies, Snickers, cinnamon candy, and trail mix. Heck, does this place deliver to college stoners?
Inmates can also receive visitors. Note: They need to know you and consent to your visit, so don't just show up and ask for Paris. Visitation during the week is for professional purposes only, like lawyers and stuff. The hours at Lynwood are 9:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. and from 2 p.m to 4 p.m. Friends and family can pop by on weekends from 8:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. and from 5:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. Be sure to bring I.D. and be over 18 or accompanied by a guardian.